Thursday, June 18, 2015

Choosing the Right Quote to share Online. #mommitment




NaBloPoMo Day 16

If you would like to read more of my "Mommy Writer" posts, click HERE!

The 31 day Mommitment event was held in May, and there were blog posts, images, photos and plenty of quotes and memes about motherhood and personal strength.  I found most of the things I shared from Pinterest, by searching phrases like  "mom strength", and "tired mom".

I compiled a collection of mostly positive and uplifting images to share in the event. When the 31 days came to an end, there were a few images leftover in my download folder that I had enjoyed, but hadn´t shared. 

Since I am human, my non-judgmental mindset has a tendency to close its doors sometimes, to promote anger and anxiety.

mommitment. Julie Maida. Crazy Little Family Adventure

Weeks after the Mommitment event, I was having an especially anxious day. I reflected on how awesome I had felt during those 31 days and how I had shared some pretty deep stuff with the women there and how supportive we were of each other. I went into my files to relive those empowering moments and found a leftover quote that reflected my current feelings.

I posted it to our Mommitment group. 

It seemed like a positive quote. It completely encompassed the feelings of frustration I was experiencing. 

Many women in the group related to the quote and liked it. That reminded me that I am not the only feeling inadequate or judged by other people for my decisions and life choices.

And then came along a different perspective.

Our wonderful moderator Julie, the founder of the Mommitment movement left a comment. She didn´t agree with the essence of the quote, specially the name calling. She suggested, "we don´t need to prove anything to anyone but ourselves," and also that we do not need to pass judgement on others, even when they judge us. Julie suggested name calling those who might be judging wasn´t necessary and it only reflected the same feelings of inadequacy. Those people deserve love and support too. They don´t need insults and judgement anymore than I do. 

I had not even realized that by posting this quote, I was judging AND insulting all those who might be judging or doubting me.

There is so much to learn from this experience. It reminds me of a book I´ve been trying to read for months, called Radical Forgiveness (free PDF version online.)


After the initial comment thread, and realizing Julie was right, I edited the image so that there was no name calling. The ensuing conversation from the second post was empowering for everyone involved. This whole discussion started me thinking...

-How did I not notice the grammatical error? 


-Why did I choose this particular quote?

-How was I feeling when I chose to share it?

-Do I really feel that it reflects my personal opinion?

-Why am I using judgement as a coping mechanism?

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Has this kind of thing every happened to you? Where you appropriate something that you think is perfect only to realize later on that it was exactly the opposite? That instead of empowering yourself it was making you smaller? Recently I have been having many realizations like this, and most of them have been through Mommitment. 

It has not been easy. It´s hard to not be judgmental. Radical Forgiveness makes me thing about the way we power through the wrongs that we feel have been done to us. Why responding to judgement with judgement is not a path to personal empowerment.



In honor of this rant I made a meme out of something Julie said in the thread about this quote. It´s the greatest lesson to be learned, and that is why I love Mommitment and all it does for women. We are learning so much about ourselves  it´s just insane, and all this through conversations with each other. 

Come join the conversation in the Mommitment Judgement Free Forums, where moms can share their experiences, help themselves and also help others.



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