Sunday, November 22, 2015

Why are little kids compelled to touch everything they see?




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We are someplace new, or different, or full of things that can break, or we are just somewhere with stuff.

I'm chasing the kids repeating "don't touch that", "Stop it", "Let go of those", "I already told you four times to stop pulling on this!" and my nerves just get twisted and knotted and bent out of shape and my face contracts to stressful proportions and my jaw starts to hurt. 

If it gets really bad I start to blow hot air and start bringing the volume up on my words and maybe start some arm squeezing and full fledged yelling. Not long after that,  the feelings between the four of us gets uncomfortable and things go downhill from there, sometimes not coming up for air in a long time.



Every single time I wonder why I can't just relax. Do they touch everything because I'm asking them not to? Ot is it just because they are kids, and kids simply have a need to touch stuff? One of five of the things they touch will eventually break and that just gets to me because usually the things that break aren't ours. According to Murphy´s Law, if I let them touch freely they will know to be careful and less things will break. I still have to try this theory.

I try to teach them that they shouldn't touch things that aren't theirs, also to refrain from throwing said things. The other day we walked out of the house and the water delivery guy was coming out from the next door driveway to get his bike ready for another delivery. Big Kiddo grabbed one of the empty 18 gallon bottles out of the harness and ran down the street with it,  then proceeded to throw the bottle on the ground and roll it. I was livid! The water guy just laughed of course. Balinese don't get mad, they find everything amusing. My kids needs to learn respect and I need to learn Balinese "chilloutyness".

When my oldest was 3 and we lived in Cusco we used to go visit a good friend in the Sacred Valley whose house was covered in miniatures of all kinds. Most of the things around the house were breakable or bendable or destroyable and all were important to my friend. Everytime we went there I was nervous 99% of the time. Thankfully she had a garden for Kiddo to play in so that helped. 

The feeling is the same now, although back then I was probably stoned so the stress levels might have been lower, until they weren't. The anxiety is the same stoned or not. The following around and the "don't touch" repetitiveness is the same. 

I have noticed that I am still carrying Small Kiddo a lot because I try and keep her from touching everything she sees. Her little fingers go for everything in front of her face! I get so tired of saying no no no, and stepping in front of her to make a barrier that I just pick her up and get on with it.

What's the solution to this then? Try and relax or never take the kids anywhere? If you have any suggestions, hit me up!


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