If Only…A Tuesdays @ Ten prompt piece.
NabloPoMo Day 7
I´ve had my Tuesdays @ Ten post in the back burner all week. The prompt is “If Only…” and all I could think of were things I regret or things I wish I had done differently or things I could change about myself. And all those thoughts felt so negative to me, I couldn´t write about any of them. I am all about writing positively lately, I need to get out of the constant rut of my personal depression and anxiety that consume me and my family if I delve too much into the negatives.
Right now I´m pretty negative because after getting used to the kids going to school and getting all sorts of writing scheduled and projects piling up, I get reminded that the Indonesian school year ends in June and starts a month later in July. That means an entire month of NO SCHOOL! That means I will have no free time during the day to write. Right now I scored a little luck, Small Kiddo is napping while Big Kiddo went with dad to the mall to order his contact lenses. I will have to go back to this minute stealing reality that I used to live before. I have been kind of angry and annoyed at the fact that I am having my four free hours taken away for a whole month.
I joined a NaBloPoMo, I started writing sponsored posts, I have guest posts scheduled and I got nervous and anxious. I had no idea for today´s post until I remembered the great Tuesdays @ Ten Weekly Prompt that had helped me so much in the last weeks. But then again I started thinking in negative feelings…If only I were more ambitious, If only I could control the yelling, If only I could be more patient, If only i could stop being so negative….and blablabla.
I decided I had to find another angle so I went on to Pinterest and just typed “If Only” in the search. After much scrolling and almost giving up, I came across this great piece of inspiration. Using If Only in a positive way! I felt it instantly and I agree wholeheartedly. I used to keep a notebook when I was younger and then stopped, those were the darkest years, while I did not keep a notebook of any kind. Now i have a sketching notebook and the “getting out of my head” notebook is really this blog. I actually have another anonymous blog where I REALLY get out of my head, but that one is quite private at the moment.
I think this piece of advice can help anyone in any situation. There are so many ways to “keep a notebook”! It can be a sketch book, a scrapbook, a smashbook, a blog…really anything to get you out of your own head! Finding this reminded me how important it was to just let got of the words and the feelings, If only to clear our heads.